


Bottoms’ up

by Shelobs



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-15 00:14:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21024566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shelobs/pseuds/Shelobs
Summary: Two Bros....chilling on a merchant ship....five feet apart because they’re  both going through a lot. They’re hella gay tho





	Bottoms’ up

It was the end of another roaring good day at sea. Vernon and Eilis, having completed the first watch for the evening, and done a terrible job of paying any attention to the skyline in between their conversations, stumble into their assigned bunk in the hull of the Selkie's Tale. The room had been assigned to them only this morning -something about midnight conversations bothering the other crew members when they slept in the open bunk space. As Eilis swung open the door with a flourish and gestured his crew mate into the room Vernon stopped short and offered a succinct review of their new living space: “Oh, yoike.”

The room was clean but sparse. Perhaps a bit too sparse since there was only one bed, sitting straight across the room from the door. 

“Wellllll hellll,” Eilis sympathetically agreed, “Ah guess we gotta share? I mean as long as you are in fact amenable to that situation.”

“Well, okay, so, listen. You’re a fantastic person and someone that I, personally,” and he leaned in close and whispered, “really enjoy spending time with you over some of the other people -cough- snakes -cough- in the group but.... I AM happily married and I’m worried that -uh- some sort of “funny business,” we’ll say, might occur if we share a bed. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. My kids are always reminding me that not everyone is a fan of funny business or romance or the lack of romance. And I definitely don’t want to imply that anything happening between two -or more!- consenting adults is “bad” but since I am still married to my incredible partner whom I care very deeply about, I think we should keep this “cas” as the kids are saying. I think it means casual? They wouldn’t really tell me...” 

“You cer-tainly make a fine point there, and Ah would never make any sort of attempt to come between a man and his wedded partner. That is -uh- a bit of A Dick Move. How...ever, this does not solve our problem in this current sit-u-ation in which we have found ourselves. Ah do believe we may rec-tify this problem by swearing in a solemn mannor that we will NOT move closer than five feet apart for the dur-ation of this evening’s rest.” 

Vernon steepled his hands and said, very slowly, as though exposing to a child who is liable to be enraged by this contradiction of their logic: “but here’s the thing... this bed is not much bigger than your standard single bed and I - listen trust me, I’ve shared a small bed before, when my partner Zen and I first moved in together, and it is veery difficult to prevent accidental middle-of-the-night touching. I mean until you have kids am I right?”

“Welll Ah would have no point of reference for that experience in par-ticular. However, as Ah am sure you noticed during our evening romp on the Meenaj Aah Twas, Ah am also no stranger to shared sleeping..situations, and as such Ah can say with CERTAINTY that once your money runs out it is completely possible for your bedfellow to create an invisible divide betwixt you both and main-tain that division for the rest of the night.”

This seemed to strike a nerve with Vernon who, at the implication of being no longer welcome in the bed of someone who you formerly enchanted, began to tear up. 

“I just...I miss them so much..you know?” Vernon eked out between building sobs as the reality of his....estranged...situation came rushing back to him. “I miss waking up with them and seeing them smile at the kids. Oh JESUS I miss my KIDS TOO! They loved his carpentry work so much that this makes me think of him, too.” 

“Hey now, friend, there’s no need for cryin’ you’ll be alright and Ah’m sure your kids are jus fine, they’ll be back with you before you know it. Your mari-tal problems Ah cannot assist you with, however, this is a perfect ill-us-tration of why Ah never married. Ah could not spend this much time worryin’ about someone losing the spark that lights up their eyes when....they......see me.....”

As if realizing that he CAN in fact picture this heartbreak with perfect clarity, Eilis also begins to sniffle. Within minutes both men hurl wailing sobs into the darkness of their bedroom as they hold each other like a makeshift life-raft made out of a door that really only has space for one person to lay on it but everyone thinks can fit two people - completely ignoring the sacrifice that Jack makes by giving the spot to Rose! He knew he’d freeze in the water but he wanted his last action before dying to be this final effort to ensure HER safety! 

Anyway.

In the midst of expressing their emotions with this healing cry, Eilis and Vernon hear another voice from across the room call out:

“Are you guys...uh.....alright?”

Lasc, lying in the second bed that is very much present in this room yells over to the two in a worried tone, expressing just as much concern that he would be sucked into this conversation as it was concern for the well-being of his shipmates. “Because I’m trying to get some sleep.”


End file.
